Dating is a minefield whatever your situation. When you're a parent, things can feel even tougher. Amy Nickell shares her tips for dating as a single parent.
Table of contents
- Make Dating a Priority
- 6 tricks for dating as a single mum
- Dating a single mom: the tips that will make it work | EliteSingles
Your date outfit has been cobbled together inbetween dinner and bath time, and hung up in the hope the creases might drop out. NOW — and this is the important bit — do not put it on until the very last possible minute. Now, this may sound difficult, but just relax and be yourself.
Make Dating a Priority
Your never going to keep up the pretence for long anyway. And remember, not every date needs to lead to something. Are you a single mum? Do you have any great dating tips?
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6 tricks for dating as a single mum
Diversity's Jordan Banjo expecting second baby. X Factor's Rebecca Ferguson: One way to reclaim some of that confidence is to make some little changes to your weekly routine that boost your happiness and self-esteem. You might set time aside to see friends, join an exercise class or visit a group for single mums where you can vent about the frustrations of parenting in a supportive and sympathetic environment.
Other smaller changes include setting aside a weekly pampering hour, where you indulge in a long bath or have a massage therapist come to your house, and having a lazy day where you put your feet up and let other people take care of you. You might also set aside some time to take up a personal project, such as starting a vegetable patch, knitting a jumper or organising a book group. A project such as this, which is separate to both your love life and your identity as a single mother, will let you reconnect with your interests and passions, and give you a productive creative outlet.
Just remember that your children are a huge part of who you are and how you live your life, and that worrying about how people may react to this is a waste of your precious time. Ultimately, the best way to avoid awkward conversations that play havoc with your self-esteem is to be upfront early on in the dating process.
There are plenty of people who would embrace the opportunity to become part of a new family. If you have young children, make sure you can go on proper date nights by arranging childcare in advance. As we all know, children can make attachments quickly and easily — and on occasion they can take a dislike to certain people which proves hard to budge. But before you do, ask yourself a few questions.
Does this person seem excited about meeting your children and are they open to being a part of their life? Are your children ready to meet someone who may become a new parent figure in their life? These tips can help you get started on the right foot Realize that you are entitled to have a life. It can sometimes seem like everyone has an opinion about whether you should date or not. But this is your life and you are the one who gets to live it, not someone else. If your kids are young, just imagine how many years you'll be out of the dating scene before they leave home.
Dating a single mom: the tips that will make it work | EliteSingles
If you feel ready to date, there is no reason to wait for the perfect time or until the nest is empty. Don't expect your kids to be overjoyed when you first start dating.
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After all, they have had you to themselves for quite a while, and now they have to share. It's a natural reaction.
Sit down with them and acknowledge their feelings. Explain that you love them, but you also like to spend time with your friends just like they do. Not dating out of guilt just makes you a martyr. And as the adult, you get to make the decisions and not your kids. When you're on a date, focus on your date.
As a single mom, it's easy for your whole life to be wrapped up in your kids. But they shouldn't be the main topic of conversation during your date.
Take some time to find out about this new man; his interests, work, and hobbies. It's fine to talk about your kids, but keep it to a minimum. Your kids don't have to meet every new man. Children get uncomfortable when there's a parade of men taking their Mom out. It's a good idea to keep your dates private until things start to get serious. Doing otherwise can end up making your kids angry or jealous.